Birthday Blues

Johanna turns 1 in a little over a month. Can you believe it? Well, I'm in the midst of plannng her party and something has been nagging at me, keeping me from making decisions. I couldn't even buy her outfit. Well it finally hit me. The theme of her party is Johanna's Sweet Shoppe and typically Sweet Shoppe birthdays are pastel pink and white. Ummm yeah, so, about that? *shudders*. Well tonight while doing one last scour for her birthday outfit, I found it! But how was it going to fit in with that light, girly theme? Would I have to change the theme? Nope! I just needed to do it MY way. Her birthday outfit is black and pink and so shall her sweet Shoppe decorations be! Black, pink and perhaps a peachy orange. Wooosaaahhh! I feel so much better. My rock and roll side feels a lot better. Johannas diva side? is lo-ving-it! Now I'm excited! Booyah!

*JohannasMama*

What's In Your Easter Basket?

Sunday as you all know is Easter and this will of course be Johanna's very first Easter. Now, I will say that I LOVED getting Easter baskets when I was a little girl. Heck, every once in a while my father would buy me one as an adult and I loved them then as well. It was never about the candy, or the stuffed animal. It was just the excitement of receiving one! Well as an adult Easter has become so much bigger for me, definitely more spiritual than anything else. Forget the basket, forget Peter Cotton Tail, forget all of that. Easter is for me truly about Christ rising from the dead after dying for my sins.

Let's not forget that before Johanna I was child illiterate.

Fast forward to Ohhh, I don't know, Monday, when I learn that a lot of the ladies in a group I'm apart of are all making Easter baskets for their kids. Now see, when I was thinking about the Easter basket I was clearly thinking about the store bought ones. My reaction? "People actually take the time to MAKE those??? And for the first birthday??? Now I gotta get a basket too???? Niiiccceee". Yeah, that definitely blew my mind. Welp, in an attempt to not make my child the bootleg laughing stalk of the Knottie Mommies group, off I went to order her stuff. So far I have a my first bible that I will read to her, a bunny from build-a-bear with a cool golf outfit, a spiritual songs lullaby dvd, and a my first easter book. There was suppose to be a bib to go along with all of that buuuttt, it won't arrive until Monday O_o, so off I go tomorrow to look for something to fill that spot.

While visiting the DC Moms Like Me website I read what some of the other ladies were putting into their basket. One entry in particular piqued my interest:

From Ulasp -  Where I grew up (in Ukraine), Easter basket has a bit different concept. It is full of symbolism and meaning that is linked to the reason why we celerbrate Easter (rebirth, new life).
We would bake easter bread with raisins (yiest bread), paint eggs in different and often times elaborate colors/patterns (usually patterns you paint on eggs has a story or means something e.g. deer/horses is a wish of wealth and prosperity; rose - love and caring; continuous line denotes everlasting life, etc.). You can see beautiful painted eggs (pysanky) here:
http://www.artukraine.com/egg/pysankyp2.htm
The basket than is filled with an Easter bread, eggs, sausage, some condiments and taken to church to be blessed with holly

I.want.

At the time I was under the impression that I couldn't do that this year because Hannie isn't old enough, yadda yadda yadda. That's when I learned that people also have a "main" Easter basket that they do for the house. Who knew!?!? That didn't happen in my family. I won't be doing it this year, but next year it's on! I want the Easter bread and everything!

What Easter traditions do you have for your little one and your family? What's in YOUR Easter basket?

Life Without Baby

So, it has officially been over a week that I'm back at work and the baby is in daycare. It has been haarrddd for so many reasons:

• Work hardly compares to being at home with my little one.
• It's hard feeling like someone else is raising your child during the day, no matter how much confidence you have in them.
• The evening isn't hardly time enough to catch up since the baby is usually all pooped out by then.
• I now realize how unimportant stupid little petty stuff is and would rather just be at home cooing at my kid.

That's just a few of the reasons. Most of my others simply end with...I miss her. That little girl rocks my socks. I love the conversations we have because she's so animated and so confident in what she's saying lol. I cried all day that first day thinking about the fact that I could talk to her and listen to her babble *smh*. Here's an email I sent some sistafriends on the day before I sent her off to daycare:

Tomorrow my baby heads off to daycare and I head back to work. I'm so sad to have to hand her off to someone else. Although I am very comfortable with the daycare we chose, I just can't imagine not having her all day. And I feel so bad for the provider because between today and tomorrow she's gonna be bumrushed by me telling her things like "when she starts pulling her hair or babbling aggressively, it's because she's beyond exhausted, so here's what you have to do...". Lucky for me she says she already expects for me to call a gazillion times this week with info like that, but still. I'm so sad that I almost took my husband up on the offer of being a stay at home mom for the rest of the year, but, yeah, about that? A sista has to have her own so that's a no go. But I thought about it for a good 15 seconds before coming back to reality.

This motherhood thing has totally caught me off guard. Now that I have her I am completely baffled that I never wanted kids. If I could afford it...and had the patience...and some nannies...I would totally be that Duggard woman, or whatever her name is.

I feel like I'm going to miss so much. We just had tummy time and she turned over to her back again. She's starting to do it more consistently. I'm totally going to miss her turning over from back to tummy, I just know it!

This, my friends, is no bueno. I'm gonna have such a pissy attitude come Wednesday. Why would I want to go deal with a bunch of whiney grownups when I could be home smiling at my daughters big, wide, toothless grin? Oh yeah, that's right, because I have to provide for her.

Le sigh.

Sincerely,

One seriously distraught Mama

I must say I don't feel too differently today. I'm still sad. This too shall pass right?

~JMJsMom

The Smiling Bean

I love this kid, I truly do. This week she has taken to waking up at 6am, adjusting her eyes, then giving the biggest smile evah! Then it's talk time.She tries her best to have a conversation with me. I'm in love! That's all :-)

~JmJsMom

Good Hair: Not In This House

photo courtesy of http://ontheroadtoqueendom.blogspot.com/ 
I just finished watching a rerun of the Tyra Show about "Good Hair". It really broke my heart. So many mothers on the show were placing their own insecurities onto their daughters. I felt bad for one mother/daughter duo in particular. The mom was white and her daughter was biracial. The mother put a relaxer and weave in her daughters hair (I believe the little girl was about 8 or 9), but unbeknownst to her, the daughter didn't like it. The mom said her daughter had never told her that before. She just wanted her daughters hair to be "nice" and basically, manageable instead of spending hours trying to do it. That mother is missing out on so much. I understand that working through our natural coils can be frustrating, but it is a great bonding experience for a mother and her daughter.

Nothing can replace the time when my mother use to do my hair herself instead of sending me to the hair salon. She would sit me in the kitchen on a chair while the pressing comb heated up on the stove. Then section by section she would straighten my hair, then put the soft spongy rollers in my hair so that it would have some sort of style to it the next morning. There were also the times when she would place pillows on the floor so that I could sit between her legs as she detangled my hair, put it in ponytail holders, and twist or plait each section adding barrettes or beads to the end. Yes, it took hours, but I would talk my mothers ears off during the process and she would respond with laughter or by asking me questions. Nothing can replace that. That is such a special time.

Trust me, I know doing natural hair can often times not be easy. My mother ended up putting a kid relaxer in my hair when I was about 6 years old. My hair was curly, but as soon as humidity hit it (which DC has a lot of) POOF it went. That didn't look cute to my mother. The lady that sported a fro in the 70s didn't think it was so cute on her kid, so I got relaxed. Everything was all good until I was about 10 years old and my beautician left a relaxer on my hair too long. It not only damaged my hair, but it damaged my scalp. Til this day it is hard for me to get the front and sides of my hair to grow at all! My bangs are just past the tip of my nose and you have no idea how many years (yes, years!) it took my hair to get to that point! But I digress. My mother herself would get her hair done every two weeks, getting a relaxer every 6-8 weeks. She wasn't an expert at doing a kids hair so she did what she saw best to do.

One thing I am happy about is the fact that I decided to go natural almost two years ago. I hate getting my hair done. Abhor it. So going to the salon to get a relaxer every 8 weeks killed me. Before you knew it, I was only going like twice a year. By that time my hair simply stopped taking relaxers. It would never be straight, it would just relax my hair into waves. So, I said forget it and gave up relaxers. The journey of learning my hair has been a bumpy ride, but I honestly never wanted to give up, only improve. Now I have a routine for my natural hair. I know what needs to be done to it for it to be healthy and this makes me happy. It makes me happy because learning the patience to deal with my hair has made me confident that I will have the patience to deal with Hannie's hair.


Johanna at 1.5 months 

I have zero plans of putting a relaxer in Hannie's hair. If she ever gets one it will be when she's of age (probably around 16) and strictly her choice. I am going to do what I can to make sure that she loves her natural hair, understands it, bonds with it, and has some clue as to how to style it. When I was pregnant with Johanna I thought there was a great chance that she would be a bald baby because I kind of was, so I was prepared. I had the headbands packed in the diaper bag so that folks would know she was a girl just in case she was born like me. I just had thin peach fuzz that was blond O_o. However, Hannie took after her father and had a head full of hair when she was born. I must admit that I cringed so hard whenever someone would say "look at that curly hair!". I hate hate hated the fact that the focus was on her hair.  Everyone is inlove with her hair right now, but what about when it "turns". Her real hair texture won't come in until she's about 1 or 2. What are folks gonna have to say then? I cringed when I was a little girl and aunt's would say "you have a good grade of hair". I don't know why I did, but it just didn't make me feel good. It was said as if it was something to proud of, but I didn't understand why. It's just hair, right? I don't want Johanna's hair to define who she is. I want it to be healthy, I want her to take care of it, but I don't want it to be a burden for her.

I'm on a mission to raise a confident young lady. I don't want to put any of my baggage on her no matter what it is. I don't plan to force her to stay natural, or be pissed if she gets a relaxer. I want her to be the best, most authentic Johanna she can be. The world is already going to judge her; I'm determined that she won't have to face that in her own home. The term "good hair" won't be used in my household and if I hear someone else say it to her, I'll make sure to educate them on why that term isn't appropriate to use with her. Everything about her is good no matter what. Even when she's screaming like she's lost her mind she's still good, even though her behavior is not (I try to tell her this but she doesn't care, she just keeps screaming, le sigh). If she ever has self esteem issues I'm just determined to make it so that it doesn't stem from what mommy and daddy are saying at home.

~JMJsMom

My Birth Story Part III: Feels Like Death

Saturday morning I woke up settling into the feeling of being a mom. Everything was good...sort of. See, my breathing was a little off. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just assumed that I felt that way because I wasn't use to walking around yet, so of course it would be difficult to br4eathe easy! Well, it got bad enough that I finally told the nurse excuse me, I can't breathe. At the same time the nurses told me that there may be something wrong with Johanna's heart, a murmur. By then I'm freaking out. It's 10am and I'm calling Jonathan in tears. I can't breathe and somethings wrong with the baby. By the time he makes his way to the hospital I'm on oxygen. My breathing had dropped from 99% to 70% O_o. Everything was out of whack. My blood pressure was sky high, I couldn't breathe, they didn't know what was wrong. Things are pretty much a blur but my oxygen level kept decreasing, only holding steady at about 77%. Finally they called a doctor in because I was gonna have to go to ICU. The doctor wanted to put some kind of tube in my neck. I.freaked.out. Not because he was about to cut into my neck, but because this fool wanted to remove the oxygen mask while he did it. I'm sorry, excuse me, but didn't we just discuss how I can't breathe??? You want to do what??? And then he made me lie on my side and put a plastic cover up over my face. I CAN'T BREATHE!!! WHO THINKS THIS IS A GOOD IDEA??? OMG *faints*. I nearly jumped off the table. I couldn't. I also couldn't believe hubby wanted to stay and watch. That lets me know that he was really afraid for my life.


Eventually they rolled me downstairs and I had all kinds of medicines pumped in me. Come to find out I was going into heart failure smh. It made zero sense. I went from being just fine to heart failure just like that. Tomika was there, but I couldn't talk to her. All of my concentration was on trying to breathe because even with the oxygen I was still struggling. I had yet another catheter, some drips, antibiotics, blah blah blah. I almost gave up. I truly started to remove the mask from my face and just say forget it, let me die. I was so tired of trying to breathe. I've never had to fight to breathe before. I honestly thought to myself that Johanna would be fine because she had Jon and that was that. Then my Aunt walked to the glass window and she looked done. Immediately I felt bad. My mom was in one hospital dying and here I was in another dying. It's then that I snapped out of it and decided I couldn't do this to her, Jon, or Johanna.


My nurses were so concerned. My nurse from labor and delivery followed me down to the ICU and wouldn't let me out of her site. My nurse in ICU was so concerned that as soon as his shift started the next morning he came straight to my room. I was so scared to go to sleep that night, but I finally did. By morning my vitals were looking much better and my nurse was able to take me back to L&D. He told me he never wanted to see me again and I told him the same lol. All was good...then here comes Tuesday...


I couldn't breathe again! So here we are again with the oxygen and more tests. It was finally decided that there wasn't a blood clot in my lungs but still more fluid so they gave me medicine to help with that. During this whole ordeal I had 3 blood transfusions. I lost so much blood during delivery that they said I'll never be normal again, so they were just trying to get me up and going again smh.


This is what happened. My body was carrying so much amniotic fluid that my heart was working super hard. It was having a difficult time regulating my fluid and the amniotic fluid. It was pumping so hard, some of the fluid was going into my lungs along with blood (I was spitting up blood that saturday). That was super scary. They did do all the tests in the world to make sure my heart was ok, and it was in good straight and very strong. Praise Jesus for that.


By tuesday night I was able to breathe but my blood pressure was still high so I still wasn't able to leave the hospital.


Wednesday broke my heart. I lost my mom that Wednesday. She never got the chance to hold Johanna, but thanks to my aunt she got a chance to see her via picture. It hurt that i couldn't see her or be with her, but God has been carrying me through. I wish I was able to experience this with her, but I'm not the first person to lose their mom during a time like this, so I kinow I'll make it through.

That Thursday Jo Jo Bean (thanks for the nickname Mare) and I were released, woohoo! Since then it's been nothing but weird sleep schedules, bottles galore, and stinky diapers with a few smiles, giggles, and bonding thrown in. I love it! Being a mom is totally the bees knees!


~JMJsMom

My Birth Story Part II: Dazed and Confused

I had all hopes that the epidural would be easy breezy, but that thing hurt like a &%*#$!!! It was the most uncomfortable and painful thing I had ever felt. I am mentally scarred and petrified to get one in the future. In fact, I still have pain sometimes at the site of the epidural smh.

Anywho, they gave me the epidural, then I freaked out. I couldn't feel my legs. Scariest.thing.evah! I don't like being that out of control. When Jonathan came in he asked me what was wrong...everything! The epidural sucked, I couldn't feel my legs, they were about to cut into me. Boo hiss boo.I'm laying down on the table and they put up the sheet. Hubby is eagerly waiting. I, on the other hand, am dry heaving! The epi was making me sick! They had to get me a pan to throw up in (which I didn't) and pump me with anti-nausea medicine, then they started the procedure. Everythign was going fine until I started blacking out a little. Then they cut me on the right side and I could feel it. I was so loopy that I had to slowly and steadily say my words "I can feel that!". After saying that 3 times hubbs assured me that the anestheseologist(sp?) was pumping me full of medicine. Then...I black out. I'm out, just done.Periodically I come to and I hear words like "this is impossible" and "fibroid". At one point I open my eyes and see the anes...yeah, that person...pulling a rope that's connected to some tool inside of me and the doctor is yelling for him to pull harder. He was now atleast 10ft behind me pulling O_o. I gladly passed back out at that point. The next time I come to I here "got her!" then I hear a little person le sigh. She le sighed! She's mine :~) Out again I go. I open my eyes and they are holding this white baby upside down. I said "Jonathan...Jonathan...why is she so white?" I have no clue what he said because I passed back out. Moments later he's saying my name and shaking me because they were showing me the baby. I say "Hi Johanna" and then knock back out. The next time I come to I'm in recovery and we have visitors! Jonathan's mom and sister Angie was there, BIL Larry, my Aunt Lola and my babies godmother Tomika. He took them to the nursery to see the new bundle of joy:

Later his father stopped by and they finally brought the baby in. I held her and looked at her, but I was missing the connection. I was way too drugged. After awhile they finally wheeled me to my room for the night. I had to stay in the observation room because of my c-section. The way Jonathan explained it is this: My bag of water was huge! There was water everywhere when they broke it. I lost a lot of blood. The doctor was sliding around in it *shudders*. They got rid of one of my fibroids because they could get to the baby for it being in the way. However, just like I did to my mom, Johanna went high up in my side and they had a really hard time reaching her (hence the anes...pulling the rope). Apparently I had a really bad and awkward incision so they wanted to monitor me.

Now, we get in the room and the nurses have to press on my stomach/pelvis. No one tells you this before you have a baby. That is now officially the worse pain I've ever felt. I imagine it hurts when you've had a vaginal delivery but my God! I just had a horrid c-section! It hurt so bad that I was crying and begging the nurse not to do it anymore. And there was so much blood! Ugh. After they were done I was able to hold my baby. I told her that I loved her and just watched her sleep. Then I slept.

The next day they moved me to a private room. Oh joy. This is where I learned that I wasn't able to do anything on my own. I had to stand up with nurses, use the bathroom with nurses, get cleaned by nurses...I'm just glad I'm not body shy because if I were that would be so embarassing! I had three visitors that day: My dad, my good friend Mare, and Jonathan's father who just couldn't get enough of Johanna!


All seemed well it really did. Then, saturday came...

My Birth Story Part I: Can We Do This Another Day?

Last day of Pregnancy

On January 11, 2011 I went to work on a mission. I suddenly felt the urge to clean up and out my desk. Suddenly I was shredding old records, packing a bag of all my important info to take home, and leaving things as clean as they were gonna get. I had no idea why I felt this urge, but I did.

On January 12, 2011 I slept in late because I had a doctors appointment that day. I thought about going to work until my doctors appointment but all the walking gave me pause. I was tired. Real tired. I had a lot of extra amniotic fluid I was carrying around and I was miserable whenever I had to do anything but lie down. Welp, I caught a cab to the doctors office and headed for my sonogram. I was in total disbelief. The baby was head down for the past 6 weeks but suddenly decided to go breech! Ugh. So I headed upstairs to see my doctor. The nurse took my blood pressure and I asked "so, is it high?". My blood pressure had been excellent the entire time, but I felt funny that day. I had the strangest headache. She said "yeah, it's really high!". Well, my doctor took a look at that and also at the fact that I suddenly had protein in my urine and sent me to the hospital. He said I needed to be monitored. I said "well, see, I hadn't really planned on having a baby today, so if could just hold off until tomorrow that would be great!". He thought I was joking. I wasn't. That didn't stop him from sending me to the hospital immediately.

My husband came and picked me up and to the hospital we went. I got there about 2:30 and into the room around 3. My blood pressure was still high but we felt confident that they were going to send me home. A doctor came in to see me and she said OMG you must be miserable! Carrying around all that fluid, you poor thing. I teared up 'cause I felt like FINALLY someone understood! During my 3rd trimester I tried hard not to complain because i'm not the first woman to have a baby, but walking 5 feet had me in pain and downright miserable! Thank God it wasn't all in my head. Because of all the extra fluid AND my blood pressure continuing to be high, she told me the chance of me walking out of there was slim to none. Ultimately it was our choice if we wanted to wait it out or get things moving. I think hubby was scared of not only there being something wrong with the baby if she wasn't ready to come out, but also of suddenly being a dad so soon. After much discussion and him having my call my aunt who's a nurse to find out what she thought, we decided to go for it. At 7:15 they started to prep me for my c-section. Having a vaginal delivery was next to impossible because there was so  much room and fluid in my uterus that the baby was still doing summersaults so she probably would've ended up breach or some other weird position. So, I changed into my gown, they gave hubby his gown and pants, and off to prep I went.

Welcome Home Baby - Help Us Choose!

So we've got Bean's welcome home outfits down to 5 choices. This is where you come in. What is your #1 choice?

Daddy Loves Me

This is My Little Black Dress

So what will it be? Leave us a comment with your choice please!

~JMJsMom

Comfy Much?

So we're in the home stretch and I feel it. It's all about the waiting game right now. Babygirl is in no rush to come out. On Tuesday I found out why. Apparently I have a very big and comfortable uterus. It's big enough that she is able to still stretch all the way out and be comfortable. Well I guess I wouldn't want to come out either! I still have a little less than 3 weeks left, so at this point I'm just praying that I don't go over my due date, le sigh.

Nesting has set in, but I'm so exhausted that it's a constant battle between cleaning and sleeping. Some times I sleep 14 hour days, and other times I take an hour nap at work smh. This is the part of pregnancy everyone warned me about. Bah hum bug.

This weekend my focus will be on washing the babies clothes and putting up her nursery decorations. Wish me luck!

Here I am at 37 weeks

~JMJsMom

Babyshower Time!

Where have I been? Exhausted. I can honestly say that the third trimester is kicking my butt. I'm back to feeling the way I did first trimester. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep... le sigh. I can't though. We have to get ready for our little one because in just 4 more weeks she's suppose to be here. There's still so much left to do! Her room isn't ready BUT the crib is up, yay! Annnd on December 11th we had the babyshower.

I really had a good time, and I felt so loved by everyone that showed up. The gifts were extremely helpful, but the love and conversation were priceless! The only thing missing was my mom, but I know that if she could've been there, she would've been. Anyway, here are some photos from the day:

Me

My wonderful hostesses 

My pastor and I. I asked her to come to stand in for my mom and she did :~)

The cake and cupcakes, yummo!

 

 

My diaper cake present from one of my hostess, looovvveee!

That's just a few of the pics I wanted to share. We ended up having a surprise office shower as well, and got even more much needed items. Can you say blessed???

~JMJs Mom

The Tap Tap Game

Monday saw me looking real crazy. After visiting my mom at her rehabilitation center, I came back to my side of town to go to the grocery store and then home. While in the grocery store I had the worse braxton hicks! Mine hurt, always do. It's enough to have me bent over like a little old lady. I emailed my husband to ask him to pick me up. All I could do as I got in the car was moan and groan. As soon as I walked in the house I dropped everything and collapsed onto the sofa. Hubby laid behind with his hand on my belly. That's when he decided to play the tap tap game. He would tap once, then bean would hit back. He would do it again and again she would hit back. then he would tap twice, and so would she. After a couple of minutes of doing this she got very excited and started hitting and kicking all over the place! When she realized he wasn't doing it anymore she got very still and hit one time. When he responded boy oh boy did she go crazy lol. Apparently I'm gonna have a very excitable child on my hands. I love it!

~JMJs Mom

Cheeks for Days

I'm having a total proud mommy moment. On Wednesday I had an ultrasound appointment for Bean to have her biophysical profile. This baby is so funny. She moves all day but as soon as they put the wand on her she freezes lol. This time was no different. At first the tech was a little worried because in order to do the profile, she had to see bean perform. She moved the wand around until it reached beans feet. She wanted to see bean perform? She got it! bean started kicking trying to get the wand off lol. After the U/S the doctor came in to take a look and he said bean scored very high, woohoo! Go baby bean! They sent me on my way with a disk of pictures from my visit. Just look at those lips and cheeks!

I'm inlove! I really can't wait to meet her now!

~JMJs Mom

Week 31 - Pelvic Girdle Pain

For the past few weeks I've had a tough time moving around. Turning over at night while I'm sleeping is a huge ordeal! It hurts, and my pelvic area seems extremely sore. Whenever I do too much moving around my body definitely lets me know - the soreness, the clicking sound that comes from my joints in the pelvic area, barely being able to move my legs in an upward motion...it's enough to make me want to cry at times. While on one of my favorite baby boards today, a young lady mentioned that she thought she had Pelvic Girdle Pain. According to wikipedia.com Pelvic Girdle Pain "causes pain, instability and limitation of mobility and functioning in any of the three pelvic joints".  The symptoms are:

• Present swelling and/or inflammation over joint.
• Difficulty lifting leg.
• Pain pulling legs apart.
• Unable to stand on one leg.
• Unable to transfer weight through pelvis and legs.
• Pain in hips and/or restriction of hip movement.
• Transferred nerve pain down leg.
• Can be associated with bladder and/or bowel dysfunction.
• A feeling of symphysis pubis giving way.
• Stand with a stooped over back.
• Malalignment of pelvic and/or back joints.
• Struggle to sit or stand.
• Pain may also radiate down the inner thighs.
• You may waddle or shuffle.
• Aware of an audible ‘clicking’ sound coming from the pelvis.

The symptoms highlighted are the symptoms I am currently experiencing. The only time the pain lets up a little is when I get a lower back and hip massage. However, within 15 minutes I'm right back to being sore and thinking about taking my tylenol extra strength, or at times, tylenol pm to help me sleep. I'm also going to start incorporating some of the methods below to help me cope:

• When getting into bed sit on the edge keeping knees close together, lie down on your side, lifting both legs at the same time. Reverse this to get up.
• Try not to attempt to pull yourself up from lying on your back.
• Keep knees together when rolling over in bed.
• Sleep with a pillow between the legs; add more in other areas for support.
• When getting into a car: Sit down first and then swing legs keeping them together.
• Avoid sofas and chairs that are too low or too soft.
• Try to reduce the stress on the joint.
• Avoid any movement with your knees apart.
• Take smaller steps when walking.
• Avoid stairs if possible.
• Take breaks.
• Move within the limits of pain.
• Avoid twisting, bending or squatting.

Something else they mention that might help is floating in a heated pool. That sounds so heavenly right now! I don't have a heated pool to float in, but I do have a tub to soak in, so that sounds like a plan for tonight!

I'm 31 weeks pregnant today, yay! My goal is to at least make it to 34 weeks. My doctor thinks that me going full term may be impossible thanks to my fibroids nearly doubling in size. My poor babygirl doesn't have much room in there :-/ *Hold on for just 3 more weeks Bean*. I see that the baby in the picture above is head down. Not Bean. She flips back and forth between being breach, head down and transverse all throughout the day. That makes me happy because it lets me know that she still has some room in there. I learned that at this stage she is more than likely beginning to dream. I wonder what she's dreaming about in there? I can't WAIT to meet her!

~LAJ

The 3rd Trimester Blues

What a rollercoaster the last 5 days have been! Let’s start with Friday.

Friday I was just happy it was Friday lol. The end of another work week, thank God! However, my round ligament pain was driving me crazy! So much so that by Friday afternoon I was begging my boss for two of her Tylenol extra strength because the pain was becoming too much. I took two and…nothing. It did absolutely nothing. Le sigh. Just another pregnancy symptom I have to deal with. Oh well.

Saturday was an exciting day. It was the day we got to see Bean on 3d! We were so excited, and I was super nervous. What if something was wrong??? OMG I was so scared. As I laid back on the table and she put the warm (yes, warm!) gel on my belly, I started to relax. Bean was just hanging out as usual lol. She had her feet on my bladder which explained why I had to pee literally every 5 minutes (such a sweet child she is). We signed up for a 20 minute session. Unfortunately, after 30 minutes, Bean STILL didn’t want to turn and say hi to the camera. She is incredibly stubborn. The tech did everything she could to make her move. She kept shaking my belly, turning me over, everything! Bean would simply put her hand over her head, or curl up in a ball lol. Awww, I love her! Finally we talked about me going to get something to eat to get her moving and coming back. It was then that Bean decided to kind of turn towards us. These are the best pics we could get:

We get to go back at 32 weeks for another go at it. I hope things aren’t too smushed to see anything at that time. As we traveled back home I was troubled by the pain in my lower abdomen again. I mean, it was like the round ligament pain times 10. I wasn’t getting why it was so horrible this time. At any rate we went home, eventually got dressed for Halloween, and headed out to Adams Morgan. By the time I got there I was really in pain, but refused to ruin the night because of my round ligament pain. We walked around a lot, enjoyed looking at everyone’s costume for a couple of hours, headed to one of our favorite coffee shops/bar/lounges, then headed home. I took a Tylenol pm as soon as I got home. It worked for a while, so I was able to get some sleep. Score!

Sunday morning I was suddenly an old woman with osteoporosis. I was in terrible pain all day long! I took Tylenol pm again when we got home from church and visiting hubbies family but…nothing! It did absolutely nothing. By Sunday night I was having contractions. Constantly having contractions like every 6 minutes. Thing is, this was horrible! I had contractions last month, but those were bearable. They came, they went, I had time to breathe you know? But this pain??? was constant, and it was killing me.

Monday I called the doctor. He saw me at 2pm. My pastor drove me up and waited for me. Apparently the fibroid I have in the lower right side of my abdomen has doubled in size. Niiice. The doc didn’t know if I had kidney stones, fibroid issues, contractions or what, so he sent me to L&D. After waiting there for some time and having test run they were able to conclude this: I was indeed having minor contractions. The problem was that my fibroid was disintegrating and causing me a lot of pain. The fibroid was what made my contractions feel as if I was about to give birth immediately. There is nothing the docs can do about this. Nothing. My doctor said the pain usually passes in a week or so. I’m praying that’s right. They gave me two Percocet to take while I was there, and a prescription to get filled. They told me to take Percocet around the clock for 24 hours and then and the next day alternate between Percocet and extra strength Tylenol. So, Tuesday I stayed home and drugged myself up. Today I’m back at work, but barely. The pain isn’t as bad now that the contractions are gone, but it still hurts very much. The Percocet still doesn’t get rid of all of the pain, but it does make it tolerable. I started out the day walking upright but now I’m hunched over again, aching to get home, le sigh.

The good news is that I’m okay and so is bean. You would think the Percocet would make her sluggish, but nope, she’s still kicking the crap outta me lol. I’m still praying that this too shall pass

:-/

~LAJ

She knows and She's Glowing

When I first got pregnant I was adamant about not knowing the sex. I love the idea of a full on surprise baby. However, at the time I didn't know my mother would be in the hospital my whole pregnancy. When hubby and I went for the anatomy scan, I still didn't want to know. However, I then started thinking about my mom and whether or not she would still be around for the birth, and how she mentally hasn't been alert in forever. I thought that maybe knowing the sex of the baby would bring her some joy so I said ok, yeah, tell me what it is. That's when I found out it was a girl and I could not WAIT to tell her! I mean, I wanted to skip work so that I could run to my mother and tell her that her grandbaby is what she's been dreaming of! Except I got there and discovered she didn't want to know. She said no five times! Le sigh, fine.

Skip to last night. My mom is really present, having a full on conversation with me. She knows the date, the time, where she is, everything! Can I just tell you how good that felt? These moments are so rare, and you want to eat them up for days because you know that when they're gone...they're gone..and it's back to black. So anyway, my mom tells me that I'm not carrying very big and I say I know, that's what they say! She tells me she thinks I'm having a girl but deep down she thinks it's a boy. I say "do you want to know? I mean do you really want to know what it is? Because you were certainly adamant about not knowing last month." She says yes, tell me. So I tell her it's a girl. I should've been ready. I should've had a camera, no, a video camera, on standby to capture that moment. Her face absolutely lit up. she was so incredibly happy. She whispered "a girl?" with her eyes wide and bright. Best.Day.Ever. She said she would love to see her. I would love for her to see her too.

I'm 27 weeks as of Tuesday. Tomorrow hubby and I go for the 3d ultrasound. Cross your fingers, toes, and say a prayer to sweet baby Jesus that all is well with the baby. I'm scared every single time we go to an ultrasound. I keep thinking "nothing was wrong because we were just lucky this time". In a minute I'm gonna fully understand that nothing has been wrong because we are blessed.

~LAJ

We Have A Winner!

Today as I was adding even more stuff to our registries, it hit me. The bedding that I love, that makes me tingle, that I keep being drawn back to...

I LOVE it! You never could've told me that I would go for pink and green, yet, there it is. I was creating a registry on Amazon and saw this again. Along with a lamp and other things to match it. I about fell over I was so inlove with it, le sigh. I'm thinking of painting the nursery walls a soft green and putting up pink and brown accents *swoon*. So there it is folks, the bedding I've apparently been dreaming of.

~LAJ

Baby Bedding - Help Us Choose!

Now that we finally have the crib picked out and delivered, we need to figure out the bedding. I've been driving myself crazy over the past several weeks trying to decide what kind of bedding I wanted until it finally dawned on me - Just go to Target! So now that I've narrowed down a store and a couple of choices, I would love some help figuring out which set is THEE one. I have to post the links since Target is such a butt about letting you download the pics.

1. http://www.target.com/Bananafish-Lily-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001MVM24S/ref=sc_ri_1?ie=UTF8&node=15810471         

2. http://www.target.com/Trend-Lab-Maya-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001BO21DS/ref=br_1_7?ie=UTF8&id=Trend%20Lab%20Maya%20Bedding%20Collection&node=13794711&searchSize=30&searchView=grid3&searchPage=1&sr=1-7&qid=1286998671&rh=&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchRank=pmrank&frombrowse=1

3. http://www.target.com/Bananafish-Brooke-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001P8IIFK/ref=br_1_14?ie=UTF8&id=Bananafish%20Brooke%20Bedding%20Collection&node=13794711&searchSize=30&searchView=grid3&searchPage=3&sr=1-14&qid=1286998744&rh=&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchRank=pmrank&frombrowse=1

4. http://www.target.com/Tadpoles-Toile-Collection-Pink-Brown/dp/B0018Q5V5Y/ref=br_1_16?ie=UTF8&id=Tadpoles%20Toile%20Collection%20Pink%20Brown&node=13794711&searchSize=30&searchView=grid3&searchPage=3&sr=1-16&qid=1286998744&rh=&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchRank=pmrank&frombrowse=1

5. http://www.target.com/My-Baby-Sam-Paisley-Collection/dp/B002NLG440/ref=br_1_8?ie=UTF8&id=My%20Baby%20Sam%20Paisley%20Collection&node=13794711&searchSize=30&searchView=grid3&searchPage=4&sr=1-8&qid=1286998773&rh=&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchRank=pmrank&frombrowse=1

Thanks so much for participating!

~LAJ                                                                                                                   

Pink or Blue, What Say You?

Oh how I would love to write a real entry, but this migraine prevents me. Please go guess the gender/date/height/weight of our baby! http://www.expectnet.com/games/PinkorBlueWhatSayU

~LAJ

Breathing Fire

This is stressful! I simply cannot stop obsessing over whether or not the baby is ok or whether or not I'm going to miscarry. Being pregnant has made me way too aware of how many women have miscarried. I myself have had two, but, I don't know, I feel like I deserve to carry this one to term. The first one was when I was 16 and no clue I was even pregnant. The second was with J when we were dating. Ok, fine, they happened to me then, I wasn't ready, but now we're married so I feel like this one should be mine to keep. I was reading someone on here that said they are afraid they are going to sneeze the baby loose and I started lmao because I feel the same way! Geesh, I hate doing anything that doesn't involve sitting or lying down . I'm scared to stretch, walk, etc. I know that's craziness, but ugh.

I'm cramping. I've read a million times on the net that that is normal and a million more women have said they cramped too with a couple even stating that it happened to them their whole pregnancy, but for me it's just scary. I didn't have all of these symptoms the other two times. I think that is because I miscarried when my period was coming on so the period was just really really intense and painful. I haven't had my cycle since April so already this kid is staying longer and that makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy? The fact that I'm breathing fire, or atleast that's what it feels like. This heartburn has been out of control. I took a Pepcid tablet last night and that allowed me to sleep through the night, thank God. My breast are tender as heyuhl! Ugh. And I'm so sleepy. I just want to sleep all the time.

Besides that, dot and I are good.

I have a doctors appointment on July 6th to get my blood work done and to listen to the heartbeat. I go back on the 16th for the ultrasound and then I go back on the 19th to talk to the obstetrician. The person I'm seeing on the 6th is who I was going to keep originally, but now I want to go with the second doctor as his reviews are stellar.

That's all for now. I have a ton to write about, but I have to nap. I feel like an old woman.

~LAJ