Fear of the Unknown

Every time hubby and I have an appointment to see Bean, fear creeps up in us. Is it ok? Is it reaching all of it's developmental milestones? Does it have 10 fingers and 10 toes? This doctor visit was no different, as it was the one where we got to do the anatomy scan and find out the gender!

Initially I didn't want to know the gender, I wanted Bean to be a surprise. However, my mother has been in the hospital since the end of April and I thought that telling her Bean's gender would...I don't know, I guess strengthen her in some way.

So we arrived at the doctors office and I nervously laid back so that we could begin the journey. They checked for EVERYTHING! Kidneys, spine, everything you could think of. At the time I still didn't want to know the gender, so before we left the sonogram department to go do my regular check up, she wrote down on a piece of paper the babies gender so that my hubby would know. While we were waiting for my check up to begin I asked my husband to tell me what Bean was. After much back and forth and him having me compose an email stating I won't be mad at him for telling me, he wrote it down on the back of the sonogram picture: Bean is a GIRL.

A girl? A girl??? I don't know why I didn't see that one coming, but I really didn't. I felt like Bean was a boy, and I think I may have secretly kind of wanted a boy. However, I am completely happy that Bean is a girl now. I'm completely okay with that. I ran to tell my mother that evening because I knew that knowing Bean was a girl would give her life. Do you know what this lady said? "I don't wanna know". Umm, excuse me, wha? I find out the gender for her and she doesn't even want to know??? I asked her like 5 times and nope, she didn't want to know. Hmph. Well fine then.

So, we're having a girl, and her name is all picked out. Her initials are JMJ and I love her :~) I so can't wait to meet her!

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