Breathing Fire

This is stressful! I simply cannot stop obsessing over whether or not the baby is ok or whether or not I'm going to miscarry. Being pregnant has made me way too aware of how many women have miscarried. I myself have had two, but, I don't know, I feel like I deserve to carry this one to term. The first one was when I was 16 and no clue I was even pregnant. The second was with J when we were dating. Ok, fine, they happened to me then, I wasn't ready, but now we're married so I feel like this one should be mine to keep. I was reading someone on here that said they are afraid they are going to sneeze the baby loose and I started lmao because I feel the same way! Geesh, I hate doing anything that doesn't involve sitting or lying down . I'm scared to stretch, walk, etc. I know that's craziness, but ugh.

I'm cramping. I've read a million times on the net that that is normal and a million more women have said they cramped too with a couple even stating that it happened to them their whole pregnancy, but for me it's just scary. I didn't have all of these symptoms the other two times. I think that is because I miscarried when my period was coming on so the period was just really really intense and painful. I haven't had my cycle since April so already this kid is staying longer and that makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy? The fact that I'm breathing fire, or atleast that's what it feels like. This heartburn has been out of control. I took a Pepcid tablet last night and that allowed me to sleep through the night, thank God. My breast are tender as heyuhl! Ugh. And I'm so sleepy. I just want to sleep all the time.

Besides that, dot and I are good.

I have a doctors appointment on July 6th to get my blood work done and to listen to the heartbeat. I go back on the 16th for the ultrasound and then I go back on the 19th to talk to the obstetrician. The person I'm seeing on the 6th is who I was going to keep originally, but now I want to go with the second doctor as his reviews are stellar.

That's all for now. I have a ton to write about, but I have to nap. I feel like an old woman.

~LAJ