She knows and She's Glowing

When I first got pregnant I was adamant about not knowing the sex. I love the idea of a full on surprise baby. However, at the time I didn't know my mother would be in the hospital my whole pregnancy. When hubby and I went for the anatomy scan, I still didn't want to know. However, I then started thinking about my mom and whether or not she would still be around for the birth, and how she mentally hasn't been alert in forever. I thought that maybe knowing the sex of the baby would bring her some joy so I said ok, yeah, tell me what it is. That's when I found out it was a girl and I could not WAIT to tell her! I mean, I wanted to skip work so that I could run to my mother and tell her that her grandbaby is what she's been dreaming of! Except I got there and discovered she didn't want to know. She said no five times! Le sigh, fine.

Skip to last night. My mom is really present, having a full on conversation with me. She knows the date, the time, where she is, everything! Can I just tell you how good that felt? These moments are so rare, and you want to eat them up for days because you know that when they're gone...they're gone..and it's back to black. So anyway, my mom tells me that I'm not carrying very big and I say I know, that's what they say! She tells me she thinks I'm having a girl but deep down she thinks it's a boy. I say "do you want to know? I mean do you really want to know what it is? Because you were certainly adamant about not knowing last month." She says yes, tell me. So I tell her it's a girl. I should've been ready. I should've had a camera, no, a video camera, on standby to capture that moment. Her face absolutely lit up. she was so incredibly happy. She whispered "a girl?" with her eyes wide and bright. Best.Day.Ever. She said she would love to see her. I would love for her to see her too.

I'm 27 weeks as of Tuesday. Tomorrow hubby and I go for the 3d ultrasound. Cross your fingers, toes, and say a prayer to sweet baby Jesus that all is well with the baby. I'm scared every single time we go to an ultrasound. I keep thinking "nothing was wrong because we were just lucky this time". In a minute I'm gonna fully understand that nothing has been wrong because we are blessed.

~LAJ